Coffee Break Newsletter: Our Funniest Jokes of 2025

If your customers opened their mailboxes and found only bills, “final notices,” and generic ads, would they be excited to see what’s inside?

Probably not.

That’s why the Coffee Break newsletter is such a smart, printer-friendly idea. It shows up as the good part of the mail. A quick smile. A short break in the day. And your print shop name right there, month after month.

That kind of connection does not just feel nice. It helps sell more printing. Because when people like you and remember you, you are the shop they think of first.

Why Humor Helps Sell More Printing

Coffee Break is not about becoming a comedian. It’s about being memorable.

Here are three reasons humor works especially well for print shops:

It gets read. People skim sales messages. They read what makes them smile.
It makes your shop feel human. Warm connection beats another pitch.
It keeps you top-of-mind between orders. Consistency is the real magic.

Our Favorite Coffee Break Laughs from 2025

Quick Hitters (short, clean, and easy to share)

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
I love a good to-do list. I just wish mine loved me back.

The Classics (Q&A style)

Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
What do dentists call X-rays? Tooth pics.
What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? On the bottom of the page.
What did the ghost say on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo!

Mail, Printing, and “This Feels Like Real Life”

Customer: “Why do you keep your printer in the garden?”
Me: “So I can make leaflets.”
What do you call mail that’s been sunbathing too long?
Toastal service.
Sign outside the post office:
“We don’t make mistakes… we deliver them.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
No thanks, I prefer Google.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Control freak.
Contr—
Now you say, “Control freak who?”

Workplace Reality

Boss: “Why are you late?”
Me: “I was working on my time management skills… and clearly, I need more practice.”
Boss: “You’ve been late three times this week. Do you know what that means?”
Me: “It’s Wednesday?”
Me: “Alexa, play ‘Motivation.’”
Alexa: “That track does not exist.”
Being an adult means saying, “After this week, things will slow down,” every week until you die.
I mailed out thank-you cards and immediately felt like a functioning adult. It lasted 12 minutes.
I cleaned out my inbox. Now I only have 11,497 unread emails.
Just once, I’d like a username prompt to say, “Close enough.”

A Few More Favorites We Couldn’t Leave Out

Two WiFi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic!
My boss told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Me: I used to be a banker.
Friend: What happened?
Me: I lost interest.
I told my suitcase there’s no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Cashier: “Do you want your milk in a bag?”
Me: “No thanks, just leave it in the carton.”
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
Website: We use cookies to improve performance.
Me: Same
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the utility closet?
Supplies!
Me: “My 2025 goals? Eat less sugar, exercise more, and print smarter.”
Printer: “Well, one out of three ain’t bad.”

What Coffee Break is (and Why It’s Easy for Printers Like You)

Coffee Break is a done-for-you direct mail newsletter built around humor. No pushy sales pitch, just great jokes and witty moments that prompt smiles and build warm relationships between you and your customers.

Here’s what makes it easy to run:

Humorous writing each month (about a dozen jokes or quips and a list)
A fact-a-day style calendar with birthdays, events, and inventions
Fully customizable files so you can use the content as-is or add your own touches
Print-ready layout and artwork (already researched, edited, proofed, and copy-fit)
Simple timing: the press-ready file is delivered on the 15th of each month, two months ahead of publication

A simple way to use Coffee Break to sell more printing

The trick is not the perfect joke. It’s the monthly rhythm.

Pick your audience: customers, warm prospects, or both
Personalize fast: logo + contact info (and a short “here if you need us” line if you want)
Mail monthly: consistency builds familiarity
Use the smiles as an opener: when someone mentions it, you’ve got the easiest reason to ask what they’re working on

You’re not trying to “market harder.” You’re making it easier for people to remember you and reach out when they need printing.

Common questions printers ask about the Coffee Break newsletter

What is the Coffee Break newsletter for printers?
A monthly, print-ready humor newsletter you brand and mail to stay visible, likable, and remembered.

Does humor actually work for B2B marketing and print sales?
Yes. It earns attention and builds warmth. That makes your shop easier to choose when printing needs pop up.

Who should I mail it to: customers, prospects, or both?
Customers for retention and repeat orders. Prospects for more “I’ve been meaning to call you” conversations.

How hard is it to personalize?
It’s designed to be quick. Drop in your logo and contact info, then print and mail.

What kind of jokes are included?
Clean, easy-to-read jokes and quips, plus short lists that make it feel like a real break in the day.