The Best Laughs of 2017 (Brought to You By Coffee Break)

Our Coffee Break newsletter has been a unique addition to our direct mail marketing packages for over two decades! And really, should that be surprising? After all, humor sells! Why not deliver that humor to your customers every month with your company name on it?

Share the Laughs

Here is a list of our favorite laughs from the 2017 Coffee Break newsletters:

☞ Ms. Battle: Henry, I hope I didn’t see you copying Casey’s math test. Henry: “I hope you didn’t either.”

☞ I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s just the sort of thing I could see myself doing.

☞ A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and asked, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”
“Really,” he replied. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?”

☞ Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

☞ Dear life, when I said, “Can my day get any worse?” It was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

☞ A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
“Are you crazy?” yells the customer. “What’s with your hand on my steak?”
“Sorry,” answers the waiter. “I didn’t want it to fall on the floor again.”

☞ I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

Mom: Having trouble with your computer, Son?
Son: My PC says it can’t see my printer.
Mom: I’m not surprised. Look how messy your room is.

☞ I took my family to visit the AIR & SPACE museum…but there was nothing there!

☞ A woman was severely allergic to cotton…
She got some pills for the condition but couldn’t get them out of the bottle.

☞ All generalizations are false, including this one.

☞ I opened my electric bill at the same time I opened my water bill. Needless to say, I was SHOCKED!

My sister was explaining to my nephew that his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Zach was exuberant at the prospect.
“Cool!” he said. “I hope I get a German accent.”

☞ I could not find a frozen chicken big enough for my family dinner. I asked the young man behind the butcher counter if these chickens got any larger? He replied, “I’m afraid not; they’re all dead.”

☞ I just turned 25 and still have bad eyesight. When do I get my adult supervision?

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